HINT: It isn't pretty.
I spent the morning reading just one review of one book and the comment thread that it inspired. In short, this train wreck of a comment thread is a great example of the reasons that I refuse to review self-published books: the bad punctuation/grammar, the horrible sentence construction, the astonishing inability to correctly use the English language, and yes, the aggressive bullying by the so-called "writers" themselves. Predictably, this blog entry has gone viral: it's now mirrored on loads of facebook accounts, it's all over twitter, and the book's Amazon comment thread has linked to it, too. For wannabe authors, it's a wonderful blow-by-blow account of how to destroy your career before it even gets started.
The review of the book itself is mild -- kind, in fact -- compared to the comment thread, where the author immediately jumps in to attack the reviewer. This snowballs quickly so the comment thread rapidly fills up with comments from the author as well as from literary agents, book editors and publishers and from the reading public. These comments are both vicious and hilarious in a sad, car-wreck sort of way. This comment, for example, is priceless:
At least her "F*** off" comments are spelled correctly. None of the rest of them are. I think that tells us something very informative about where exactly on the scale of literacy the "author" falls, which is about the same place that sucking Cheez Whiz out of a can falls on the scale of fine dining. So sad.
Lest you believe that the reviewer might have been (just a wee bit) mean in his review, here's just one cringe-worthy sentence from this erm, novel:
"She carried her stocky build carefully back down the stairs."
I wish I could say this is the only awkward sentence, but alas, it's one of literally thousands of similar sentences, except that quoted example lacks misspellings, which run rampant like escaped horses through the portions of the book I've read.
But I think the most amazing aspect of this book review is the fact that the reviewer somehow waded through the entire novel. The numerous grammatic, semantic and spelling errors would have stopped me cold at the end of the first chapter -- if I had even made it that far. As another commenter said, it's surprising that the author didn't misspell the title of her own book; The Greek Seaman.